So in the past week i have gone through a transformation of sorts.
It all started at therapy a week ago on Monday. I was asked if id like to be a man and then if i felt like a woman? I said NO to both! Have never been asked those questions but often thought about them. It was really liberating and it brought a sense of easy in my body an openness i did not feel before. And the ease continued….
The followng day i had a concert(P!nk)to go to with friends and was nervous about being the only one not drinking!How I would fit in.Was no pressure at all to have a drink. And i felt a real sense of fun and power not needing or wanting any alcohol.Looking at strangers fall about the place and buying the limit of 6 drinks per person at the concert did not make me want to start drinking again thats for sure.
One of the most enjoyable parts was having my make up done by one of my best friends. It didn’t feel like i was having makeup done as a woman. It felt different from other times. And by others reactions I looked different too. Glowing was used on a few occasions.
Make-up or no make up I feel better in my own skin.The most ok i have ever felt. Ive learned that am in this body for such a short time we all are!The fact that i do not feel like any gender and that i realize i never ever did, sits really well with me. I always thought i had to do something about not feeling like either gender but really all i had to do was recognize it. Hold it. And love that part of myself.