Its been 260 days since ive had a drink containing alcohol, a joint or a cigarette. I am feeling the benefits in so many ways physically and mentally.
One of the most challenging aspects of sobriety for me personally is socializing especially in a pub/club venue where the majority of people will be partaking in the consumption of alcohol. Do not get me wrong its not about them partaking its my heightened state that im feeling.Aware of everything fully.In some ways yes its glorious and in some yes its scary as anything. I have to feel really strong in myself and really want to show up in the pub/club.
Last night I ventured out with a friend to a nearby city to see a band that i really love. Ive seen them numerous times always under the influence of alcohol or marijuana or both. I have also seen them in this place a little over a year ago under the influence of both. Two very different experiences!!
When i was drinking i really cared about my next drink so much or my next cigarette. So that took away a lot of my concentration on the sounds and people around me. Whereas last night i was fully present. Fully present to everything good and bad. To the people at the front who where rowdy and singing and talking through a lot of the songs..to the beautiful people id seen before at a vegan eatery in the city.. But mostly i was fully aware and present to the music.Which is why i chose to go out and be sociable. The music and the incredible voices a few feet away. My heart open my eyes closed i fell into it and enjoyed it with every breath. I did not want for anything or anyone. Fully present. Fully alive.
This is what my sobriety had brought me. And everyday im thankful.