September

Over the last few days, I've had this sense of fault.A dread like breathlessness clinging onto my heart and lungs.Like I've been wrong about something. Something huge.I've been crying. Crying while making tea, crying while watching t.v, crying at therapy.Tears have just flowed on the spot.Uncontrollable grief.Ya see something has shifted or is shifting and…

Pride Month🥰🌈

Just noticed it's been one year and one month since I began writing this blog! And I've noticed not written anything here for two months! So a small offering of words and pictures😊Since inter-county travel restrictions have lifted have got to see some family and friends. It was so so wonderful especially since my Dad…

Coming Home

Just 16 days into my sobriety I reached out to a somatic therapist whose small flyer I saw at the place I worked at the time. It was on the notice board that I placed many posters on and took many down myself and well never noticed it before!!It amazes me how quickly I reached…

On Endings.2

I did seek and hope to find love in lockdown on a dating app!!I found someone in another country half the world away about to move here!I wanted to write about what I learned about myself throughout the 4 months.All I can write about is myself as per all my posts. My feelings are big…

800 Days!!!!

Today we celebrate our patron Saint of Ireland St.Patrick!However we are still under a level 5 lockdown so will be no actual parades, no drinking in pubs and so on.Not drinking in a pandemic is hard. So today is just another day for me. It is hard because as is the same for most people…

The Struggle Is Real.

Getting sober is one thing but staying sober is another. And staying sober during a pandemic is another Right now I'm finding it tough.I have had many urges to get wasted recently.I have cried myself to sleep with the pain of grief and letting go.I am healing and its hard and vulnerable.Part of me does…

On Endings

Recently I’ve learned that we don’t get the justice we think we deserve or even imagine.  I was shocked recently to find out about the sudden death of someone who had a huge impact on my whole life. Huge impact meaning traumatic impact. My abuser. Over the past two years, I’ve been working hard on…

Two Years Free!!

My sober 45 year old self! So today its two years now since I quit alcohol, cigarettes and marijuana too!When I read other people days,months and years I’m always so amazed and like WOW that’s a lot of days together. But when I see mine in my app I’m not so amazed and in awe!…

BE KIND

Death by suicide leaves the people left behind asking a ton of questions.I'm writing this because a month ago a good friend took her own life. The shock of hearing the news was something I never felt before. It hit me in the chest like a punch to the heart.I wanted to fall to the…

Finding my light…

When I was in my twenties I did find a way to not drink for some time. I was introduced to AA by a friend who saw my drinking as a problem.I got involved with all aspects of its active service and so on. I loved the community aspect of it that it felt like…